How History Books Will Remember The Government Shut Down: A Masterpost
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𝜗𝜚 He was there again. The third time this week, just like all the other weeks.
Ichigo was at your grave. Ever since he saw you that one time by the tree on his way home, he has been trying to get you to come back. Come back to him. Ichigo has been dropping off offerings — your favorite snacks, drinks, books. Anything to get you to reappear like the last time.
Ichigo was getting worse by the months. He was seriously starting to worry the people around him. He had bags under his eyes, so sullen in and his brown orbs just seemed so dull. Ichigo looked constantly tired and drained and he was, he’s barely been sleeping. Each time he fell asleep, he woke up to feeling the ghost of you on his skin. His arms filled with goosebumps and his lips feeling so empty.
Ichigo was barely eating anything and now that he lived alone in his own apartment, he’s been eating less and less. To the point that his body just accepted it no longer needs room for food because he needs the space for his grief and depression. There’s countless days where he spends it just sitting on his couch, trying to remember what you look like, how you sound. What used to make you laugh, what made your eyes sparkle in excitement.
And yet, when he remembers, ichigo becomes in agony. The small grin etching onto his face because he remembers soon becomes pulled between his teeth, trying to hold back tears because he comes to terms with the fact those things will never be present.
Wiping the dirt away from your gravestone, his fingers lingered too long on the engravment of your name. Soon trailing down to the year you died — the day you died in his arms when he failed to save you. The tears begin to sting, threatening to spill while the same knot burning feeling in his throat arose.
“Please,” Ichigo whispered, dropping his head down to the ground where he laid the flowers and your favorite candy. “Just let me see you one more time.” His hands touched the ground, his fingers grazing against the dying grass now that it was becoming fall.
The mornings were starting to get colder and foggy. Something that kept Ichigo stuck in his home till the fog left. The first morning he stepped out and noticed fog, his eyes widened in surprise — the first emotion ever being presented on his face after your death. And then suddenly, his heart ached because he remembered you loved the fog. And, as if the fog could cater to his thoughts. Ichigo swore he saw your shadow beneath all the fog.
Now, he doesn’t step out because of it.
“I need to apologize to you.” He stated firmly, his fingers crumbling the weak old grass stems. Some of them sticking to his palms from the thin layer of sweat.
Ichigo thought that maybe you were pulling a mean trick on him. Purposely not letting him see you as revenge for letting you die, it tugged on his heart and sometimes Ichigo fought with himself about thinking that way. You were so sweet, so nice, you wouldn’t act like that even after death.
With his head still face down, Ichigo didn’t notice the ghost of you appearing in front of him. Not until the cold feeling of your hand pressed onto his shoulder, his eyes widened and he gasped. Looking up, ichigos eyes roamed you. How pale you looked, how translucent and yet.. you looked so happy. You looked so vibrant still, your soft smile still giving him the same feeling.
For once, Ichigo was grateful for the fact he was given the gift of a Shinigami. Just so he can see you. You moved to kneel down in front of him, your white gown swaying at the end from the cold wind. You didn’t shiver, not like how you usually were when you were alive. Your hands moved to cup his face, your cold thumb rubbing his cheek.
“What exactly do you need to apologize for?” You asked, quietly. You tilted your head as well, looking at him with a soft look. One that made Ichigo want to cry. His hands wanted to reach out and touch you, hold you in his arms but he knew better. You were solid, not anymore. Ichigo may be able to feel you touch him but he’d never be able to do the same.
“I-” ichigo gasped out, his lips parting. His eyes couldn’t focus on both your eyes, they kept taking turns looking at your left eye and then your right. “I let you die that day.” You sighed softly, moving to sit on your knees. Your white dress digging into the ground, not at all worried about it getting dirty. You shook your head, your hair moving along with it. Looking so soft. “Ichigo, it wasn’t your fault. It was just my time.”
“That’s bullshit.” His voice was faltering, lowering. It would’ve had some more emotions if his body wasn’t beginning to numb them away. “Of course it’s my fault, you were too young to die. I- I should’ve moved quicker, I..” he wanted to say something else, so many expectations of what he should’ve done that day running through his mind.
You moved to shut his brain off, kissing his warm forehead that should’ve been more warmer. You noticed his lack of taking care of himself, and what hurt you the most was the way his eyes looked. “Stop thinking about what you should have done and start living your life, Ichigo.” You whispered against his forehead, your eyes closing, you breathed him in. Ichigo wasn’t the only one who was dearly missing someone, you were too. You were waiting for the day it was his time to cross paths to your world. But you hoped it wouldn’t be soon, you hoped it’d take a lifetime before he gets to be where you are at now.
“I’m still here.” Your finger pointed at his chest, to where his heart lay beating. “I’ll always be right there, within arms reach.” You advised. Your gaze was looking straight up at him, watching so intently what emotions his brown eyes were giving to you. Whether he noticed or not. “I’m not going anywhere.” You offered a smile, one you knew he loved seeing the most.
Ichigo sucked in a breath when he saw that smile, his hands tightly gripping the ground beneath him. “I can’t.” “You will.” “Then.. why did it take you so long to show up?” You thinned your lips, humming. “Well, that’s because I check up on everyone. I still have to walk you know.” You humored, a small giggle slipping past.
“I check up on Uryu, Sado, Orihime,” you begin listening, your eyes beginning to sparkle like they usually do when you talk about something you enjoy. “Your sisters, your dad. My family.” You were counting the with your hands, already holding out nine fingers, “it’s a lot of people I had to walk too.”
“Why am I last?” Ichigo mumbled, slightly feeling betrayed. You heard it in his tone, the small jealousy. You couldn’t help but grin even wider, giggling while your hands begging to soothe him once more. Your thumbs caressing his cheeks. “Because I don’t want there to be a time limit when I come see you.”
“I spend the rest of my time watching over you, visiting you in your sleep. Checking up on you..” you bite your lip, your eyes shining concern. Remembering how Ichigo has been spending his time lately. “You need to start eating more, going out.”
Ichigo was a fool for you, he’d always listen to you. Especially when you were so worried for him, he couldn’t help but nod automatically to your soft order. “Will you be bedside me?” He couldn’t help but feel childish, maybe even a little selfish for wanting you to be with him. You nodded, without hesitation. “Always.”
You stood up, looking down at Ichigo who was still sitting on the ground. Who was looking up at with teary eyes, anticipating your goodbye. Not at all ready to watch you fade away into the air. But you weren’t going to do that, not at all. You moved to stand beside him, sitting next to him and resting your head on his shoulder. Looking over at your grave with a small grin.
“I love the flowers you got me.” Ichigo waited, he waited for you to start disappearing like last time. Waited for the cold feeling on his shoulder to leave and be enveloped by the warmth of his clothes and jacket. But it didn’t. You stayed there. You walked beside him while he walked home, stepped inside his apartment.
You sat on the bathroom sink counter, swinging your legs back and forth while humming to yourself. Ichigo showering and hearing you still be there. You sat on the chair next to him, watching him eat a proper meal within weeks. The biggest smile ever plastered on your face.
This time, you did not leave.
Oh… oh my God…
"Outlines" [49]
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